M -- I love you. I think since that night when you walked out, or before that. Or for always. I'm not ready to tell you or even really think about it much. Sometimes I don't even know why or how it happened. We're different in so many ways. you're so vague and distant and sometimes feel like our relationship is disconnected. But there's something...there, isn't it? It's so big. You are so big. My big, big love.
The weirdest of it all, I am so aware of what the future is going to bring to us. How we're going to destroy each other and fight and be happy and then not happy and happy again, but that's life isn't it? And we're better together, and our life together can be worth it.
I feel so many things for you and I want to keep exploring it and the part of myself that craves stability in an otherwise unstable life pulling you into me until we're smothered in each other is terrified. But fuck, M, I love you. I want forever with you, starting now.
Listen, if somebody gave me the choice right now, of to never see you again or to marry you, alright, I would marry you, alright. And maybe that's a lot of romantic bullshit, but people have gotten married for a lot less.